


we hold each other so tight they couldn't break us if they tried

by lesblams



Series: Blam Week 2015 [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blam Week 2015, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:17:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4802489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesblams/pseuds/lesblams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Blam Week 2015, Day 1: Road Trip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we hold each other so tight they couldn't break us if they tried

The whole bus buzzes with voices, all of them low and drowned out by one another. The lights overhead are turned on, but dim, since sunlight still shines through the outside windows. Band members, crew members, managers, makeup artists, security guards, everyone is scattered throughout, talking softly to one another about nothing important. They only need to pass the time.

But none of them are talking to Blaine and Sam. They had found their own little bunk, raised above everyone else, where they could at least feel like they were alone.

Blaine’s eyes are glued to the TV set across from the bunk as he shoveled Taco Bueno into his mouth. Sam’s own nachos sit in front of him, foreshadowing the regret that he knows will come that night. The TV drones on about “local” news, wherever local is. Sam can never figure out why any of that interests Blaine, but whenever he watches it seems like he is in a different world. 

Sam slowly, inconspicuously pulls his phone up to his face. Weird as Blaine’s interests might be, they always give Sam a perfect opportunity.

He presses the yellow ghost icon on his phone, and waits for Snapchat to load. Blaine still stares intently at the screen, methodically taking bites from his burrito. Sam presses and holds the capture button and let the video film for a few seconds. Then he brings his other hand to the screen, preparing to zoom in uncomfortably close to Blaine’s face.

He swipes two fingers across the screen, the contact making an unmistakable tapping noise that draws Blaine’s attention.

“Oh my god are you filming me?” Blaine ays, mouth full of rice and chicken. Sam nods, laughing. Blaine reaches for the phone, but Sam pulls it to his chest before Blaine can grab it.

“Sam!”

But Sam adds the video to his story before Blaine can do anything else.

“I hate you,” Blaine says, shoving another bite of his burrito into his mouth.

“You love me,” Sam says, and it’s easy, because his phone falls to his lap and he doesn’t have to worry about being accidentally recorded.

Blaine rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.

Sam’s phone starts buzzing, notifications of snap after snap coming in, responses to a his snap that probably actually have nothing to do with his snap. He loves their fans, he really does, but sometimes he wishes he had a moment’s peace. 

“Come here,” he says instead, tugging Blaine toward him so that he’s in between Sam’s legs, back against his chest and still able to see the TV screen. Sam has to reach around him to hold his nachos. It feels amazing. It feels protective. It feels like _them._

“Where is this bus even headed?” Blaine murmurs. Sam loves how he can feel it through his chest. 

“No idea,” Sam says. He thinks it _might_ be Cincinnati, but he’s not sure. “You’re the one watching the news.”

“The station will change to somewhere else in like an hour though. This doesn’t count.”

“I guess that’s why we have the tape on the floor at our shows.”

Sam relies on that tape, with the city’s name written on it, to let him know where he actually is more often than he’d care to admit. The fans always feel special when he shouts out their city, and he loves giving them that feeling, but if he’s not on stage he’s signing autographs and if he’s not there he’s somewhere hidden with Blaine, wrapped up in Blaine, and the outside world mostly turns into a blur.

They do have days, especially in bigger cities where they perform two shows, that let them explore and create memories and actually do the other half of their job - vlogging. Sam loves and hates those days. He loves getting to breathe fresh air, not the stale, recycled air of their music tour bus, and not the cigarette-smokey air of their concert venues, but warm, outdoor air that matches the bright skies overhead. He loves getting to stretch his legs in ways that don’t involve standing in front of a mic with a guitar at his waist. He loves getting to find new, fun ways to goof off with Blaine, and to film the Blaine that he’s fallen in love with and gets to show to over a million subscribers.

He hates that he has to hid _them_ on those days.

When they first started making YouTube videos, they were just messing around with instruments and audio software and coming up with covers for their favorite songs. Then someone, who knows who, got a hold of their cover of “Hold Each Other” and spread it across the internet, and suddenly their worlds had changed. One of the initial agreements they made when they realized they were truly becoming famous was that they didn’t want to outright discuss any relationships; they wanted their fans to love them for who they were, what their friendship was like, and the content they produced, not for any “shipping” reasons. 

Not that that stopped a lot of fans. Blaine and Sam had come across “Blam” shippers many times, most completely respectful and even really awesome, some not so much. For the most part, it didn’t bother either of them. But even after Blaine’s divorce, after Sam had been through one or two girlfriends who had made it on screen but not in a relationship statement, after Blaine couldn’t take it anymore and kissed Sam on the couch while they were watching a kids’ movie of all movies, they stayed firm. Blaine cited wanting privacy, having something in their lives to themselves which was so rare these days, and if something were to happen to their relationship (Sam knew he was thinking about Kurt when he said it, but he didn’t call Blaine out) that it would make things less awkward, and Sam agreed on all points.

Except he wonders lately if that’s what he truly wants.

“Have you ever thought,” he begins, but his willpower comes to a crashing halt before he can finish. Blaine’s been sitting in a lull against his chest, their heartbeats synching in these few and far between moments that are just them, _only them_.

“Hmm?”

“Never mind,” Sam says, but Blaine’s already twisting to look at him.

“What were you going to say?”

Sam damns himself. When he came out to his parents, he’d come up with a tactic that assured him he wouldn’t back out. Tell them you have something to tell them, then they’ll be curious and you have to have a follow up. Blaine knew that then, and knows that now.

Sam clears his throat, and tries again. 

“Have you ever thought about telling everyone about us?”

Blaine blinks, surprised. “Sometimes,” he admits. “But I thought we’d discussed…”  
“I know, and I think that was a good thing for us then. But I just wonder if it’s the best thing for us now.”

Blaine’s not upset or anything, and Sam doesn’t know why he thought Blaine would be, but he’s still relieved. 

“It feels weird, when we’re out in public, how I can’t hold your hand or kiss you or anything,” Sam rambles. “Like, we’re trying to be as real as we can be which I feel like is why we made that rule so people can see the real us and whatever, but we’re not really being the real us anymore, you know? I feel like we’re working so hard to hide our relationship that it’s getting a little…” He waves his hands around, searching for a word, but Blaine nods. Sam always loves how Blaine intuitively knows what Sam means, even if Sam isn’t sure what he means himself. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just hard right now, since we don’t have a lot of privacy. It’s easier when we’re home and we have a lot of downtime to ourselves.”

“That’s true,” Blaine says. “And I definitely like having something that’s not really exposed to the world. But I guess if we told everyone we were dating, we’d still have our own moments, right?”

“Right! Like watching Netflix and cuddling on the couch, that’s boring, they don’t want to see that. And sex! They don’t want to see that either!”

Blaine laughs and presses a kiss to Sam’s lips. “They probably do want to see that, Sammy. But no way in hell are we going to let them.” He tucks his head into the crook of Sam’s neck and lets out a sigh.

“If we tell them, I don’t want it to be a big deal," he says, his voice dropping lower. “I don’t think I want to make a video on it or anything. But if it comes out organically, then I don’t see why we shouldn’t do it.”

Sam nods, his heart soaring in his chest as Blaine snuggles closer into him, but he gulps. He has permission now, which is great. He just hopes that proposing on stage tonight, the engagement ring already resting in his duffel bag, is organic enough for Blaine.

 


End file.
